http://travman.subjectonline.com/feed/? Latest topics Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:09:20 GMT 10 http://i39.tinypic.com/a1ibuq.jpg http://travman.subjectonline.com/feed/? http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/wrath-of-the-sewer-kraken-t25.htm I Defy Gravity The tentacles of the sewer-kraken wrapped around my head, suffocating me. I don’t know if you’ve ever been dragged through your toilet, plumbing and septic tank until you hit the municipal sewer system, but believe me it catches you off guard every time. I punched the septic squid in its dinner-plate sized eye. It screamed like a newborn baby and flailed its many arms around. “SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!” shrieked the Sewer Kraken. “I whole-heartedly disagree,” I ... Season 6 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:09:20 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/wrath-of-the-sewer-kraken-t25.htm#30 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/wrath-of-the-sewer-kraken-t25.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/the-brief-reign-of-general-spoons-t24.htm I Defy Gravity “C’mon General Spoons, I don’t have all day. Nobody has to die here,” I said. “Nice try Trav-Man,” called the spoon-handed general. “But now that I posses the Galaxy Jewel, my army will take over the world, and I will take my seat as Supreme Emperor of Everything! MUAHAHAHA!” He held the Galaxy Jewel tighter in his two spoon hands. I wondered how he went to the bathroom. “But Spoons,” I called. “You don’t even really have an army! You’re not really the general of ... Season 6 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:08:45 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/the-brief-reign-of-general-spoons-t24.htm#29 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/the-brief-reign-of-general-spoons-t24.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/assault-of-mermaidy-s-irrational-fears-t23.htm I Defy Gravity There is something you must understand about Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia. She’s afraid of balloons. And sloths. And the elderly. Those are her three most crippling fears. So understandably, when she was cornered by Old Sloth Man and his bunch of red balloons in the supermarket that fateful day, she was terrified. Old Sloth Man was ancient, at least 100 years old and it showed. That’s ancient, especially for a sloth. Wherever he went, he carried around a bunch of red balloons. Apparently, ... Season 6 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:03:24 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/assault-of-mermaidy-s-irrational-fears-t23.htm#28 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/assault-of-mermaidy-s-irrational-fears-t23.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/nocturna-stripper-of-broad-daylight-t22.htm I Defy Gravity It was a sunny Thursday that April. It was about 7:30 in the morning and I was driving down I-95 in my Super-Car II Turbo Plus Special Edition, when I noticed that the traffic had stopped completely. This traffic jam was like no other I had ever seen in my life. It made getting to work completely impossible as all lanes were at a total standstill! I got out of my Super-Car and walked through a couple feet of stand-still traffic to see what was the matter. And there she was. Nocturna, the Stripper ... Season 6 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:02:41 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/nocturna-stripper-of-broad-daylight-t22.htm#27 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-6-f10/nocturna-stripper-of-broad-daylight-t22.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-sandy-bastard-strikes-back-t21.htm I Defy Gravity My baby had finally been born. That is to say, Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia had laid the egg, and about a week later it hatched. She was a beautiful baby girl. She had her mother’s eyes. And gills. I held her for about an hour and then handed her over to Neil Patrick Harris, who I had just recently brought back to life with voodoo. “You keep it,” I said. Then I went outside for some air. I stepped out into the hospital parking lot a walked around a bit. “God damn, I’m bored,” ... Season 5 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:00:24 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-sandy-bastard-strikes-back-t21.htm#26 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-sandy-bastard-strikes-back-t21.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/return-to-the-deadly-cave-of-death-t20.htm I Defy Gravity I was back inside the cave where I had first encountered the bear with machine guns for hands. I had forgotten my wallet the last time and needed to get it back. Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia was now in the hospital, expecting to lay eggs quite soon, and I needed to buy all that baby crap that you buy when your about to have a baby, like clothes and food and stuff. On my way out I heard a roar. I spun round just in time to see the same bear smack me across the face and send me flying. Again. I ... Season 5 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:59:27 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/return-to-the-deadly-cave-of-death-t20.htm#25 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/return-to-the-deadly-cave-of-death-t20.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-revenge-of-the-revenge-of-horseman-t19.htm I Defy Gravity I was back in my now snow-covered wild strawberry field. Horseman stood before me, his horsey teeth grinding in fury. He was the bastard that killed NPH. I could tell. I’m smart like that. I was on the honor roll in 3rd grade. Horseman had obviously gotten serious since our last encounter. He was no longer wearing a diaper, but a trench coat and suit pants without a shirt or shoes. Over his right eye, he had an eye patch. He probably didn’t have an eye underneath it. I had plucked it ... Season 5 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:58:52 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-revenge-of-the-revenge-of-horseman-t19.htm#24 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/the-revenge-of-the-revenge-of-horseman-t19.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/tales-of-revengeance-the-prologue-t18.htm I Defy Gravity Dark times lay ahead.]]> Season 5 Wed, 04 Mar 2009 01:58:14 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/tales-of-revengeance-the-prologue-t18.htm#23 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-5-f9/tales-of-revengeance-the-prologue-t18.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-4-f8/zero-seconds-to-deathtime-a-prequel-to-the-things-you-ve-already-read-t17.htm I Defy Gravity I remember back when I was first getting started as Guardian of the Earth. It was a simpler time. It was a better time. It was Christmas, 1983, Zimbabwe. It was my last day under the tutelage of my sensei, Master Shoop. He was the greatest fighter of all time and was the one who taught all of the best. All of them. Chuck Norris. Jackie Chan. Darth Vader. I was his best and brightest pupil, but now it was time for me to go off into the business of saving the world from crazy shit. Before I left ... Season 4 Sat, 21 Feb 2009 15:00:21 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-4-f8/zero-seconds-to-deathtime-a-prequel-to-the-things-you-ve-already-read-t17.htm#22 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-4-f8/zero-seconds-to-deathtime-a-prequel-to-the-things-you-ve-already-read-t17.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-makers-f3/who-are-the-makers-t12.htm I Defy Gravity Travis Swisher - Trav-Man, Creator & Writer Kent Roberts - Horseman, Creator & Writer Jed Lin - Creator & Writer Rocki Alt - Mermaidy & Creator The Makers Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:51:44 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-makers-f3/who-are-the-makers-t12.htm#16 http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-makers-f3/who-are-the-makers-t12.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-sandy-bastard-t16.htm I Defy Gravity I was relaxing on a beach enjoying a martini. I don’t think it’s a woman’s drink. Shut up. The sun shone down brightly on my already perfectly tanned body. I closed my eyes and drifted off. I dreamed of Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia actually having speaking lines. How silly dreams can be. Suddenly, I awoke to the sensation of being pinched by giant claws. I looked and saw to my surprise I was indeed being pinched by giant claws. A giant crab had emerged from the ocean to do things to ... Season 3 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:09:46 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-sandy-bastard-t16.htm#20 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-sandy-bastard-t16.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-ultimate-wedding-of-danger-t15.htm I Defy Gravity Finally, the day had come. Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia and I were married on top of a mountain. Everyone important was there, mostly me. The pope was there to take pictures while Neil Patrick Harris performed the ceremony thing. Superman stopped by for a few minutes, but he had a meeting later and had to leave early. Fortunately, the ceremony itself went much better then the bachelor party the night before. Neil had taken me out to one of those steamy night clubs and then got me a really big ... Season 3 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:09:12 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-ultimate-wedding-of-danger-t15.htm#19 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/the-ultimate-wedding-of-danger-t15.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-2-t14.htm I Defy Gravity …like, right now. I gasped in an astonished shock at the unexpected. The rocket-propelled chainsaw launcher had jammed! “How unexpected, and also, oh shit!” I gasped. As the raptor drop ship circled back around, I fled away into the alien jungle swamp like a newborn baby bird retreating from laser fire into an alien jungle swamp. I had plan. A plan just crazy enough not to work. So I thought of a different plan. Five minutes later, I was riding the mighty back of a giant space ... Season 3 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:08:29 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-2-t14.htm#18 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-2-t14.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-1-t13.htm I Defy Gravity I was seconds from the drop off point. I may have been billions of light-years away on the swamp planet, but my mind was still at home on my coming wedding and the baby. I decided that Neil could have it. One of the space raptors aboard the drop ship with me called me over to the hatch. Off the top of my head, I’d say we were about 1234567 feet off the ground. It was time. I cleared my head and jumped. It wasn’t my first combat drop of course. As my chute opened I was suddenly met with ... Season 3 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 20:07:57 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-1-t13.htm#17 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-3-f7/mission-to-the-swamp-planet-part-1-t13.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-history-f2/travman-is-alive-t11.htm I Defy Gravity for those that don't know the idea of making travman into an actual tv show is on the table, the lunch table to be precise. if you have any questions about it post it here but for now, the rest of the info will have to be updated later The History Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:43:15 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-history-f2/travman-is-alive-t11.htm#15 http://travman.subjectonline.com/the-history-f2/travman-is-alive-t11.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/non-relevant-chatter-f5/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog-t10.htm I Defy Gravity
Click here to visit dr horrible's website]]> Non-Relevant Chatter Sun, 15 Feb 2009 03:40:26 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/non-relevant-chatter-f5/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog-t10.htm#14 http://travman.subjectonline.com/non-relevant-chatter-f5/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog-t10.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/registration-f4/registration-t9.htm I Defy Gravity Click Here To Register]]> Registration Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:16:36 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/registration-f4/registration-t9.htm#9 http://travman.subjectonline.com/registration-f4/registration-t9.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/revenge-of-horse-man-t8.htm I Defy Gravity Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia and I were relaxing, picking wild strawberries in our private wild strawberry field. It had been an exhausting day. Someone had cloned Hitler’s brain into the body of a great white shark and managed to teach it how drive a tank, so needless to say, I was tired when I finally got home. The smell of strawberries in the gentle breeze would have been very relaxing, if not for the fact that I was incredibly tough and manly. Suddenly, there was a loud bang like a gunshot. ... Season 2 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:44:33 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/revenge-of-horse-man-t8.htm#8 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/revenge-of-horse-man-t8.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/requiem-for-nph-t7.htm I Defy Gravity The lava men were mobilizing. Neil Patrick Harris had died to bring us this information. His funeral was beautiful. If I was such a manly badass I probably might have cried. But I didn’t. Cause I’m a manly badass. I stood before the army of seals and manatees Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia had managed to gather to combat the diabolical forces of the lava men. Then I gave the most rousing motivational speech ever. I can’t repeat it because I don’t remember it, but it was really rousing. ... Season 2 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:43:57 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/requiem-for-nph-t7.htm#7 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/requiem-for-nph-t7.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/the-kangaroo-nun-t6.htm I Defy Gravity It was Christmas, 1983, Scandinavia. The rain poured down like rain. My thumb rested on the button of my lightsaber as I walked down the dark street towards the large, religious-looking church at the end of the road. I pushed open the heavy oak doors with my free hand, which was still covered in goat blood and oyster sauce, but that’s another story. “Father, I’m here,” I called. “Where’s this demon you speak of?” The priest didn’t answer. After all, his face had been chewed ... Season 2 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:43:04 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/the-kangaroo-nun-t6.htm#6 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-2-f6/the-kangaroo-nun-t6.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-deadly-cave-of-death-t5.htm I Defy Gravity The cave was dark and the sweater I was wearing itched a little. It was woven out of gold and kryptonite and I wouldn’t have been wearing it, but Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia had just knitted it for me and was very enthusiastic about me wearing it. I raised my torch above my head, its light piercing the darkness like the screams of a newborn baby pierce the night. Suddenly I heard a roar. I spun around just in time to see a 10-foot-tall bear smack me across the face and send me flying. ... Season 1 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:41:50 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-deadly-cave-of-death-t5.htm#5 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-deadly-cave-of-death-t5.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-hand-nph-t4.htm I Defy Gravity I cut open the dead, deceased corpse of the giant spider clown. Its guts were hot and slimy, pretty much like you would expect guts to be like, but I had to proceed. Neil Patrick Harris had lost one of his only two hands saving me from the balloon-animal fangs of the Spider Clown. That got me mad so I tore off it’s legs and punched it in the face until it stopped moving, then just to be sure I cut off it’s head with my lightsaber. I crawled through the dark sticky mess of the Spider Clown’s ... Season 1 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:38:35 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-hand-nph-t4.htm#4 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-hand-nph-t4.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/roomtemperaturehermaphrodite-t3.htm I Defy Gravity Dr. Roomtemperaturehermaphrodite sneered, his/her finger caressing the trigger of the infinity gun like lovers on a hot summer night. I was cornered. I thought to myself the possibility of never seeing Neil Patrick Harris do that thing he can do with his fingers, or embracing my beloved love, Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia again. Then I remembered something I had forgotten. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the 5-ton golden locket that Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia had given me for my birthday. I ... Season 1 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:37:58 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/roomtemperaturehermaphrodite-t3.htm#3 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/roomtemperaturehermaphrodite-t3.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/warmlady-strikes-t2.htm I Defy Gravity The situation was grim. Dr. Warmlady, sister of Dr. Coldman, had us trapped like a kitten in an overturned trash can. The axe above our heads swung lower and lower. “We’ll never get out of this one, Trav-man!” shouted Neil Patrick Harris. He had a very good point. We were strapped to a table. But suddenly, out of the conviently located body of water adjacent to us leapt Mermaidy, Queen of Mermaidia. Her beautiful fish-woman body crashed through the window, knocking over Dr. Warmlady and ... Season 1 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:35:31 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/warmlady-strikes-t2.htm#2 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/warmlady-strikes-t2.htm http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-fire-ride-t1.htm I Defy Gravity There I was, riding my motorcycle on the roof of a burning building, about to have the joust of my life. I stared down my opponent, some kind of crocodile-man hybrid. Our weapon of choice: flaming chainsaws. I revved “Ol’ Betsy” twice, once to get her started, and once for good luck. Then, my foe and I rode at each other at full speed. My heart pounded as I felt the hum of the passing saw, mere centimeters from my skull. Then I felt the hot splash of blood on my cheek, instantly telling ... Season 1 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:32:07 GMT http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-fire-ride-t1.htm#1 http://travman.subjectonline.com/season-1-f1/the-fire-ride-t1.htm