The tentacles of the sewer-kraken wrapped around my head, suffocating me. I don’t know if you’ve ever been dragged through your toilet, plumbing and septic tank until you hit the municipal sewer system, but believe me it catches you off guard every time. I punched the septic squid in its dinner-plate sized eye. It screamed like a newborn baby and flailed its many arms around.
“SKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!!!” shrieked the Sewer Kraken.
“I whole-heartedly disagree,” I replied. With that I tore out the creature’s eyes.
“SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!” shrieked the Kraken as it hit me with a mighty, sucker-covered arm.
I was shocked. Apparently, this Kraken did not need its eyes.
In a last desperate attempt to free myself from the Sewer Kraken’s wrath, I drew the holy sword of Umlaut and drove it straight into the beast’s writhing brain.
The beast shrieked again, but this time relented and dove under the murky surface of the sewer water, disappearing beneath the muck. The day was mine.
“You suck, Sewer Kraken.”